Category archives: Nonfiction

Day 146

When Nate and I broke up my senior year of college, I spent my loneliest nights in my car, parked at the Mississinewa River. There I would smoke cigarettes and write bad poetry, wail Damien Jurado songs (“Go First”) and… continue reading »

Thoughts on Desire (& my icon)

Sometimes I make the mistake of visiting old blog posts from five, six year ago. I’m always embarrassed by what I’ve written; you’d think I’d know better by now to just stop blogging to prevent 30-year-old Lauren from blushing and shoving her… continue reading »

Friday night.

I’m pretty sure I’ve forgotten how to be single. I’m also sure that I never did anything on Friday nights anyway, with or without a boyfriend to spend it with. I brewed some tea. I geeked out over my new… continue reading »

Jayber Crow pp. 197-198

Sometimes I forget Jayber Crow is a story about unrequited love, as much as it is a story about Church. Jayber is in love with Mattie Chatham who is, for most of the book, married to Troy. But that doesn’t stop Jayber… continue reading »

Days are easy, until they’re hard

I wrote that not-incredibly-remarkable sentence last breakup. I’m pretty sure I’ve said it this breakup too. Let’s just say that things were going so well. I was excited to graduate, excited to move in with my friend and her husband,… continue reading »

Day 16: Time

When recovering from trauma (or in my case, grief), time does not progress linearly. Time seems to move too fast or too slow. Yesterday seems so long ago. The breakup, not 10 minutes ago. I don’t know why this is. Theologian… continue reading »

Day 14

For me poetry was eucharistic. … It was as if I could eat the poems, like they went into my body. That’s what I mean by eucharistic: somebody else’s passion, suffering, comes into your body and changes you. -Mary Karr,… continue reading »

Days 7-8: Lament

Saturday night, I went to Nate with all my hurt and anger. I said (nearly) everything that was pissing me off, that was keeping me from any sense of healing. I felt only OK afterwards, but a day later, I… continue reading »

Day 6: In Curvatus

I recalled the wisdom of my first writing teacher, Ben Belitt, who said, “Our poems are wiser than we are.” No small part of the process of writing is the lifting up into consciousness of what has long remained in… continue reading »

Day 5: Self-care

I’ve learned that in the process of grieving, it’s important to listen to your own needs. (My psychology school calls this self-care.) I’ve been really aware of what I need right now, and I’m listening to everything my heart and gut tell… continue reading »

« older posts