oh mediocre

The past few weeks I’ve been dreaming about school: about waking up, going to class, interacting with my professors, winking at a cute boy, then starting my homework. How lame is that? I’d take the dream where Ashley viciously murders me over a strand of boring, uneventful dreams.

When I’m awake it’s not much better. All I can think about is school or the research I’ve been doing on RELEVANT magazine (which is going exceptionally well, mind you).

I want a cause; I’ve been praying for a cause.

I’ve got to be spending my time thinking about someone other than myself and about things more important than Radio Production homework. Honestly.

So far I’ve just been praying for RELEVANT. I don’t mean “just” as in it isn’t important – because it is. I’m starting to worry that I’ll get so consumed in the magazine again that I’ll fall back to where I was a year ago. Worthy or not, I can still make RELEVANT a god. So I need to be careful.

Without giving too much away, because I know this will pop up on RELEVANT’s Google alerts, Tuesday I’m talking to former RELEVANT employee Dylan Peterson on the phone. I’m in kind of one of those celebrity-dazes. I mean, he was a pretty important part of the RELEVANT team. Well, he did make me fall in love with Andrew Bird and Anathallo.

Anyway, that’s Tuesday. More research to come. More prayer to come.

I’m hoping, honestly, that I find something to devote my thoughtlife to – something God will appreciate. I’ve made this observation before, but it’s really, really hard to pray when you have nothing to pray about. Dear God thank you for rain. Thank you for helping me wake up on time. For fresh brew. For … class? For, … okay, I’m out.

Thus: I need a cause.

And I need to spend less time on Facebook.

Lauren