Next steps
Give to me miles of tall evergreens
And the smell of the ocean and cool mountain breeze
Won’t you please? – The Lonely Forest
Welp, I am one step closer to a new life. Today I sent in my application to The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology, a grad school I’ve been looking at since sophomore year.
I think the hardest part about this break-up (yes, I’m still on that topic) is that nothing else has changed. I still have my boring class schedule; I still have stressful newspaper duties. And though there are definite benefits to a routine — especially for the times I love my job and my school work — more often than not I just want to get away.
Running away isn’t really an option yet. In May — yes.
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I don’t feel a part of the IWU community anymore — it’s odd. It feels like everything is still going on around me, but I’m somehow excluded. I kind of like it this way. I’m still very aware of its politics, but I don’t take a part. I don’t get worked up over bad chapels or worthless classes. Maybe I’m on IWU autopilot.
This must just be senioritis at its finest.
I am past all this. My heart is in Seattle. My heart is in the land of false-hope.
December 1, 2011