Days 40-41
So here I am blogging, Wendy McClure style.
My dad IM’d me yesterday, to ask me out for drinks. Nice, Dad. I talked to my sister later, and I guess it’s because he’s worried about me. Dad isn’t really the lovey-dovey super-dad type, so this is nice. I think he liked Nate a lot. They spent a lot of time talking about beer and paint together. Maybe Dad wanted him as a son or something, I’m not sure.
I don’t really want people pitying me. It’s nice receiving attention, though. And it’s nice that people get why I’m not my usual peppy self. But I don’t want people to think that I’m scarred by this break-up. I’m not. I’m actually a lot stronger, a lot more mature than I was pre-break-up. I just love(d?) the kid.
I went to my summer Bible study last night. I started attending randomly, because I didn’t feel a part of my church anymore and I knew it wouldn’t be good for me to be churchless completely. So I Googled local churches and found one with a young adult group.
I love these people. I still don’t know half their names, but I feel loved and valued in their presence.
At the top of the hour we met in small groups of about 5 or 6 to talk about our weeks and give prayer requests. I told everyone my break-up saga, and they listened and loved and gave advice – good advice, too. Not: Oh you should do this! More like, This helped me when I was in your situation. I learned a lot of that advice suggests I ween myself off him. I’m trying. It’s hard.
I’m glad to have a group around me who understands what I’m going through. I’m still floored by all the texts, Facebook messages/wall posts and blog comments I get from friends and acquaintances who understand my pain and want to help me out. They’re being so Christ-like, taking the load off my shoulders and carrying it themselves. (What a beautiful image.)
Today has been good. I’ll post on it later tonight, probably. I think for now what I need are distractions – good, healthy ones – to keep me away from Nathan physically (via text-messaging) and emotionally.
-Laur
December 19, 2011