Good grief
My Heart is a Room
In a Ramshackle House
Where the shades have been drawn
And all scenery is gone -The Lonely Forest
—
I haven’t blogged in a while, because I’ve been sick and consequently lazy. I spent three hours last night watching The Office — and crying at Jim and Pam’s wedding. I’ve seen the episode before, twice.
Anyway, today’s Day 21, and I am doing well. I mean, my sinuses aren’t doing well, but I’m doing well emotionally.
I realized today (in the shower) that in a single day I go through all five stages of grief. Today I went through at least four.
At points I was in denial that Nathan’s no longer mine. Other times I was upset, nearing depression. Most often I bargained with my circumstances, asking what if? what if? There have been moments too when I’ve felt so much at peace, knowing that everything will be fine and is fine.
December 1, 2011