… and overcomes conflict to get it.

I go home Wednesday – I’m halfway through college. I’m terrified; I’m sad. I love college – especially the learning – and I don’t want it to end. But I’m beat. I’m sick of writing papers. I want to rest my brain.

In between writing this, I’m working on my final exam for Media and Society. We’re supposed to comprehensively write about our approach to media literacy, using just about everything we’ve learned this semester. Dr. Perry suggested we start with a specific medium or issue and go from there. 
I decided to start with RELEVANT.
Seven months ago Kevin Erickson emailed me about his RELEVANT thesis. Six months ago I sobbed and screamed at God for killing my dream. 
But now I’m writing about RELEVANT and what it has taught me about media literacy and what I think Neil Postman would have to say about it. And it’s forcing me to relive last fall. I’m rereading Kevin’s thesis – yes, all 99 pages. I’m rereading my emails with former employees. I’m reading that email from Jason Boyett where this game started.
But you know what? It’s okay. It’s really okay. In fact, I don’t want to work for RELEVANT. I think it’d be cool … and I wish there were more magazines like RELEVANT out there … but I don’t need to work there.
I’m beginning to wonder if it was just getting  in the way. Maybe that whole experience was the “inciting incident” that got me from there to … well … Iraqi Kurdistan.
My mom said yes – I’m going to Iraq this summer.
God is good. How good? Let’s see:
December: Lauren finds Preemptive Love Coalition internship
December: Lauren tells sister about PLC internship. Sister freaks out.
December: Lauren tells mom about PLC internship. Mom freaks out.
January: Lauren tries to convince mom that she can handle said internship. Mom says no.
January: Lauren prays a lot.
January: Lauren fasts Wednesday lunches.
January: Lauren applies anyway …
February: Lauren buys passport
February: Sister finds out and freaks out.
February: Mom finds out and freaks out.
February: Lauren considers giving up dream.
February: Lauren reconsiders giving up dream.
March: Lauren can’t sleep because she doesn’t know what to do.
March: Lauren gets internship!
March: Sister finds out and freaks out.
March: Lauren still can’t sleep because she doesn’t know what to do.
March: Lauren tells mom about internship.
March: Mom says no again.
March: Lauren tries to reason with mom to no avail.
March: Mom gives Lauren a chance to “propose” the internship to her and stepdad.
March: Lauren prays a lot.
April: Lauren asks other people to pray.
April: Lauren proposes internship. It doesn’t look good.
April: Mom contacts lots of people who know PLC. It looks better.
April: Mom changes her mind!
April: Lauren buys plane tickets. :)
I know I didn’t handle that maturely. The praying part was good, so was the fasting, but the going behind my mother’s back thing was not. The arguments and stubbornness wasn’t good either.
But holy cow. O Jacob, you worm: I am nothing. This, this was all GOD. I can’t even make it seem like this was my doing. GOD worked a huge miracle. 
I leave in less than a month. I’m not scared yet; I don’t have time to be scared. There’s so much planning I need to do. 
To think I was so sure I’d be planning for my RELEVANT internship this time last year.
Instead, I’m planning to spend the summer in freaking Iraq. IRAQ! Man alive. I get to work for a organization whose mission statement I not only believe in, but can be sure that they live up to it. 
Praise GOD – he knows what he’s doing. 
ezekiel

April 25, 2010  Leave a comment

only by prayer and fasting

“But if God is so good as you represent Him, and if He knows all that we need, and better far than we do ourselves, why should it be necessary to ask Him for anything?” I answer, What if He knows Prayer to be the thing we need first and most?
I never share prayer requests. I don’t like to. When Dr. Huckins asks for ours in Practicum, I never make eye contact. I think it’s because in youth group everyone tried to one-up each other. Your mom’s sick? Well, mine just died – beat that! And I don’t want you prying into my personal space.
This season has been filled with doubt. I don’t know what I believe. I know some things, and those things I hang my faith on like a hat. Others, like prayer, I don’t know what to make of.
But I’m going to live them out, like Jayber. This blog will testify to that.
I want to intern at Preemptive Love Coalition. I’ve wanted to since December. I thought God was finally going to give me a break – let me have a big story to live out. RELEVANT died. This was it.
Then, Mom said no. 
She said no in December, but I applied for the internship anyway.
She said no in February when I bought my passport.
She said no in mid-March when I got the internship.
She said sigh maybe in late March when I begged and pleaded and cried and came up with logical reasons why I should get to work with PLC in Kurdistan.
(I’m realizing how persistent I can be – to my own demise.)
So I prayed. Reluctantly. I didn’t have anyone else pray except Molly, Lindsey and my college group at home. I didn’t ask Dr. Huckins to pray. I didn’t ask Dr. Bence to pray. I think I asked Dr. Perry to pray, but that’s it. 
I didn’t ask people to pray because I didn’t believe in prayer.
(And maybe I still don’t.)
Then Mom said that she would think about it, that she might consider letting me take the internship. She started asking me questions like how I could pay for it and how long I’d be gone. I was hopeful; I asked more people to pray.
Maybe God did have a hand in this after all.
I asked Molly to pray, of course, and Lindsey. I asked my dear friend Jason to pray and Austin and Matt. I asked the other PLC interns and the president, Jeremy, to pray. People on Twitter told me that they were praying for me and for my mom. 
I prayed for the dead saints to pray for me because that seemed like a very Catholic thing to do, even though I’m not Catholic.
And God has moved. 
I don’t think God’s only moving because we’re praying. I don’t think that’s what Jesus meant when he said, “Where two or three come together in my name, there I am with them.” I think that Jesus shows up when I’m alone too.
I think that praying for others and asking others to pray for you is a humbling experience.
I think it transforms you more than it spurs God to answer in your favor.
We must ask that we may receive: but that we should receive what we ask in respect of our lower needs, is not God’s end in making us pray, for He could give us everything without that: to bring His child to his knee, God withholds that man may ask.


Maybe that’s the point. Maybe the ask-not-because-you-have-not is God’s way of getting us to talk with him. Not only that, maybe it’s his way of making us rely on others, to think outside ourselves. I can’t ask people to pray for me out of pride. I can’t do it. I have a huge pride issue, but if you’re going to pray for me, it’s got to be for a legitimate reason.
I need to need you.
And praying to the saints? Maybe I should save this for another blog post, but I think there’s something – uhh – transcendental about asking saints to pray for you, to intercede. Not because Christ can’t do it. But because you can’t do it on your own. You need help. You need the saints. Dead and alive ones.
I say this again: it’s humbling. Especially for someone who doesn’t like sharing prayer requests, to know that David, a follower on Twitter, is praying for me is humbling. He owes me nothing. He has no ties with me. He doesn’t know my age or hair color. He just knows my situation and we share the same God.
I fast a meal a week. I don’t like talking about that either because I’m afraid that sounds like I’m bragging. To help: this was Lindsey’s idea.
Every Wednesday at noon I pray instead of eating. Sometimes I stay in my room; sometimes I go into the NHC chapel or sit outside; sometimes I drive to Tree of Life. Sometimes I can stay focused, sometimes I can’t at all.
But I’m not eating during this time. It’s just me, my “worship music” playlist, my Bible, my notebook … (wow, this list is long) … and God. Just us. Hungry.
Maybe this works. Maybe it’s like prayer and it’s more about the communion, less about the results. Who knows. I do know that when Matt texted me one Wednesday, right as I entered the chapel to tell me that he was fasting with me, I felt loved and cared for and humbled.
Mom’s going to tell me Monday if I can go to Kurdistan with PLC. I’m confident that she’ll say yes, but I don’t know for sure. I also don’t know if Dr. T is going to approve it as an internship so I can get loans to pay for it. I don’t even know if CitiBank will pay for it.
So pray.
Please.
If for nothing else, for the support system it’s bringing me and my family and the other interns.
love,
ezekiel

April 18, 2010  Leave a comment

Jayber Crow, p. 54

I said, “Well,” for now I was ashamed, “I had this feeling maybe I had been called.”

“And you may have been right. But not to what you thought. Not to what you think. You have been given questions to which you cannot be given answers. You will have to live them out–perhaps a little at a time.”

“And how long is that going to take?”

“I don’t know. As long as you live, perhaps.”

“That could be a long time.”

“I will tell you a further mystery,” he said. “It may take longer.”

April 8, 2010  Leave a comment

Creative Writing: Head vs. Heart

I wrote this over Christmas break.

I like imagining what my head and heart talk about – they’re always disagreeing. This is the manifestation of that. Enjoy.

P.S. Well, just don’t read too much into it. Just … enjoy.


My head and my heart are always at odds with each other. Head is pragmatic, reasonable and is always making those ridiculous pro-con lists. Heart is passionate, stubborn and can convince Head of nearly anything. Today they’re in a full-out death match. (Head can be so brutal!)

HEAD: Heart, it’s time you get over this boy. He doesn’t like you anyway. Remember that movie? Let me spell it out for you: he’s just not that into you!

HEART: Gah, shut up, will you? Can’t a girl dream? He did act like he liked us in the beginning – hullo?! You were there. You’re the one who had to convince me that he liked us. I was the one who kept telling you that “oh, he probably treats all his friends like this,” or “he just likes our company.” You had to be so adamant about it!

HEAD: Well, he did seem to like us at first.

HEART: So he lost interest? Great. That makes me feel awesome.

HEAD: Hey, I don’t know. Boys can be weird. And gosh, haven’t you ever lost interest in a guy?

HEART: Well, yeah, but I usually have some good reason to. … You don’t think he stopped liking us because of something I did, do you?

HEAD: You can be a little over the top.

HEART: But so can you, Miss Let’s-Analyze-Everything!

HEAD: I’m just doing my job, Heart. If no one analyzed the situation you’d still be caught up with your last crush … the engaged guy? Remember him?

HEART: Hey, you promised to let that go. I wasn’t myself. I was too busy marking off your stupid checklist.

HEAD: That’s a perfectly good checklist!

HEART: It’s a stupid checklist. It is supposed to tell me what we want in a husband. Really? When did you make that list, anyway?

HEAD: Uh, five years ago.

HEART: Exactly, we were fifteen years old and you thought you’d know what we’d want in a husband. Guess what? THAT ENGAGED GUY WAS NOT OUR TYPE!

HEAD: Geesh, calm down! It was one simple mistake.

HEART: One mistake? What about TallGuy and ObamaFan and WorshipLeader? They fit your little checklist.

HEAD: Hey, don’t blame me for all of those crushes. You’re the one who fell for them.

HEART: Yeah, but not because I thought they were hot or romantic or whatever – the things hearts usually fall for. No, it was because they fit your stupid standards. Stupid you with your stupid, stupid standards!

HEAD: Stop calling me stupid! That’s very offensive.

HEART: Sorry, Head. You’re just upsetting me.

HEAD: Why, Heart? He’s just like every other crush.

HEART: But he’s not! He’s the one that didn’t fit your list, but is so perfect for us.

HEAD: How do you know without my list?

HEART: I just know. I mean, he is smart like you, and creative like me, and he sees beauty the way we do, and he is really clever and quirky, and he would fight for me – I know it!

HEAD: Is he cute?

HEART: You know he is. But that’s not even the half of it. He’s like someone you’d read about in a book and fall in love with. … Maybe that’s why you’re so eager to get over him, because you think he’s just a storybook character.

HEAD: Maybe. … He does seem to have that too-good-to-be-true quality about him.

HEART: And for once I didn’t make it up. He really is that amazing.

HEAD: He really is.

Sigh.

This isn’t helping anything. He’s not calling us and you are not over him yet.

HEART: So what are we going to do?

HEAD: For once, I don’t know.

I love that last line.

March 29, 2010  Leave a comment

Kashrut pt. II

Kashrut Update:


It’s been 36 days of Lent (I’m counting weekdays too) and I am pork free. I haven’t had a cheeseburger; I haven’t had seafood; I haven’t had sausage at Sunday brunch in Baldwin.

Basically, I’m doing amazingly well. I could do this forever, really. I’m far more disciplined than you Gentiles anyway.

Yeah, so this has run through my mind a lot: observing Kashrut has made me really proud of my Jewish heritage. But not the good kind of pride either. In the words of the Avett Bros.: “… [Like] the kind in the Bible that turns you bad.”

I think discipline is good, but I’m worried that I’m forgetting the part of the Sermon on the Mount when Jesus talks about being humble when you fast and pray, by not making a big deal out of it. I like to make a big deal out of it. I mean, come on, I ate Kosher for Lent. How cool is that?

The other part of me kind of hopes I embrace this pride. Because on Easter Sunday, that pride has to go away. I will be able to eat pork and meat/dairy. My Gentile brothers won’t be “less” than me anymore. I imagine that will be humbling.

Whichever it is, I have been craving Bdubs like crazy. Ugh, just to dip chicken in Ranch dressing. …

Laur

March 25, 2010  Leave a comment

Repentance, forgiveness, etc.

Last Sunday at my church, Westminster Presbyterian, Pastor Justin preached about the Prodigal Son, one of my favorite parables of Jesus. (Cliché.) But Justin taught it in a new way, a way that made me really, really angry at first. (Foreshadowing.)

What if the prodigal son was not repentant?

This blog is dedicated to Nick, who buys me Starbucks before church every Sunday.

Last Tuesday Haley and I upset Prof. Perry (our favorite IWU professor, no matter how long it takes him to grade our exams). We were on Facebook during class, which he hates more than anything, and our conversations popped up on his news feed. 
Yes, that was a huge FAIL on our behalf. If we’re going to break rules, we need to be better at breaking them. 
Anyway, I felt horrible about it – the good kind of horrible. The kind that brings me to repentance (II Cor. 7:10). Because though I’ve been on Facebook during this class before and Prof. Perry has known, I have never repented. I haven’t really been sorry.
Side note: I’ve noticed that these last two posts seem very guilt-driven, and they’re not really. I felt guilty about how I treated my former crush only because I hadn’t done anything about it (that is, repent). I will feel guilty about disrespecting my favorite professor as long as I continue to peruse Facebook during his lectures.
So I won’t anymore. Hear me, Prof. Perry, I will not be on Facebook during your class anymore. It’s done. My laptop will stay in my dorm room, no matter how inconvenient it is. 
I hate disappointing people. If anything is going to bring me to repentance, it’s that watery look in your eyes.

So what if the prodigal son was not sorry? What if he only came back to his father because he knew he had no other option? It’s as if I’m not going on Facebook in Perry’s class because he banned laptops. But I can still bring my laptop to his class. I can still be on Facebook and post rude comments about his class on his wall. (Argg.)

But I’m not. (This is beginning to sound self-righteous; I’m aware of that.)

Pastor Justin used Luke 15:17-19 to back up this theory:
“When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.'”

Jesus says that the prodigal son “came to his senses,” but that’s not the same as saying the son knew he was in the wrong. Yeah, duh eating from a feeding trough wasn’t “sensible.” You don’t have to think you’re in the wrong to know that. The text doesn’t come out and say that the son was sorry, just that he knew he didn’t want to be poor and hungry and dirty anymore.

Pastor Justin said that the phrase “I have sinned against heaven and against you” was meant to remind the Pharisees of the last time that phrase was used, with Pharaoh during the exodus (Ex. 10:16). I agree that this is probably true because Jesus has done this before (“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me,” Ps. 22). And honestly, Jesus likes shocking the Pharisees. He does it a lot.

But what’s interesting is that Pharaoh told Aaron and Moses that he had sinned against God and them, but he still wasn’t repentant. He was just trying to get out of trouble. He didn’t want another plague, but he wasn’t about to let the Israelites free.

And finally, if the son was really repentant, do you think he’d really care to be a hired hand? He still wanted paid, probably to go out and go crazy all over again. Get more gambling money. Replenish the supply, so to speak. If he was sorry – truly sorry – wouldn’t he be okay with being an unpaid slave?

Of course we don’t know any of this for sure. And it’s a little frustrating to believe that this could possibly be true if you’ve heard it one way your whole life. But if it is true, what does that say about Grace?

It says that God forgives us – he runs to us, embraces us, pardons us – before we ask for forgiveness. Before we even feel the need to be forgiven.

What’s scary about asking for forgiveness is that no one has to forgive you. Not everyone is as gracious as the prodigal’s father. No one is God.

I hate disappointing people because they aren’t obligated to forgive freely. Prof. Perry could hold a grudge against me. I could’ve affected our relationship by my disobedience.

So … I guess that’s where we come in. That’s where Christians come in. Freely we have received, freely we give.

It’s up to us to forgive freely,
to hold no grudges,
to love unconditionally.

It’s hard. I know.

ezek.

March 22, 2010  Leave a comment

Title Track: Shall steal no more

This wasn’t something I wanted to write about. In fact, as I sit here, there’s still that urge inside of me to let it go. To just let it go. …
But I can’t.
See, everyone has those certain “taboo topics” of discussion that they avoid at all possible. For most people, it’s religion, politics or abortion. For me, it’s music piracy. People talk about it way too much; we’re beating a dead horse.
Last July, however, my very favorite band, Thrice, finished recording their most recent album, planning to release it in October. By late July the album was leaked over the Internet. This crisis caused Thrice to release an electronic version of their album on iTunes in early August with the hardcopy available in September.
This frustrates me for two reasons. One, you don’t mess with my Thrice. I don’t care who you think you are – you do not, under any circumstances, steal from Thrice. (Heh, excuse this outburst, please.)
Secondly, Thrice didn’t release their album in July for a reason – they weren’t done with it. By hacking and leaking, you are stopping the artist from perfecting his masterpiece. It’s as if you read my column before my editors had a chance. Piracy not only literally robs the artist of the money he deserves for his creation; it robs him of the respect his fans should give him.
With that being said:
How many of us have burned CDs, mixed tracks or whole albums?
How many of us have filled flash drives with mp3s to share with our friends?
And how many of us “borrow” music from the library by renting CDs and downloading them to iTunes?
My friend Jacque is so adamantly opposed to any level of music sharing that she won’t even listen to a mixed CD.
My friend Todd got locked out of Huntington University’s Internet server for having downloaded too many albums, movies, TV series and computer games.
I want so desperately to find a happy medium where not only my wallet is full, but my conscience is clear as well. So I turn to the apostle Paul.
He’s the guy who said that “everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.” I like this verse because it lets me justify bad behavior. As long as it doesn’t “master” me, all’s well.
But Paul is also the guy who said that “he who steals shall steal no longer.” So should the question become whether or not file-sharing is considered stealing? Or, to what extent does it become stealing?
I find myself wrestling with this a lot – what are we to do about the grey areas in the Bible? If something isn’t banned in the Ten Commandments or warned against by Jesus, Peter or Paul, does that make it permissible? Is it OK to cuss? Is it OK to watch R-rated movies (after IWU graduation, of course)?
And at the same time, is such behavior acting out of rebellion or as a way to connect with our unsaved brothers and sisters?
I assume this column will end with more questions than it started with. Because part of me knows that if music burning is really stealing, than I am guilty. But as a fallen human being, I so desire to find a loophole in the system, to find a way to justify my sinful nature.
For those of you who stay away from torrents and CD burners, I commend you. Honestly, I wish I could think more of the musician’s loss of money rather than how much money I’m saving. In time, I hope, I’ll get to that place.
The post was originally printed in Indiana Wesleyan University’s The Sojourn newspaper.

March 21, 2010  Leave a comment

Repent and be baptized

Over spring break I thought about what God’s been teaching me. I immediately thought of forgiveness, how he’s showing me that true forgiveness demands repentance. But then I remembered how I’ve been doubting basically every belief, and he’s been teaching me the importance of faith. And then I thought about how everything is dying, and how I have to let it die, and be transformed … redemption. And Grace? The hug? This should sound vaguely familiar: my blog series.

Ah yes, my blog series. Remember how I said that these four guys (forgiveness, faith, redemption and Grace) would be BFF? Well, they’ve been sticking together these past few months indeed.

This blog is about forgiveness.

This is what I know about forgiveness: you cannot truly ask for forgiveness unless you’ve repented. It’s kind of the definition of forgiveness. It’s insincere unless you mean you will never do that again.

A few blog posts ago I wrote about how I handled a rejection horribly, and how I began blaming him, my former crush, instead of taking a few big breaths and moving on.

This blog is about him.

Back story. Whenever I feel the need to get over a crush (when it’s going no where or I am flat-out rejected), I react in two ways: I either never get over him or I demonize him. I decided to demonize this poor guy.

I wrote several angry pieces about him (blogs, essays, etc.). I got my posse of girlfriends to hate him too. It’s all very teenagery of me, very “Mean Girls.”

Anyway, I started feeling guilty – obviously – because that’s no way to treat another child of God. So I sent him a text, invited him to coffee, and planned my apology. (When I say planned, I don’t mean I wrote a script – I should’ve written a script. In hindsight, writing a script would have made this go smoother.)

Let’s stop right there. Have you ever apologized to someone? I mean really apologized to them. I don’t mean sending an email. I don’t mean saying sorry for hitting their car or forgetting their birthday. I mean, sitting someone down, admitting a fault and begging for forgiveness.

Let me tell you: it’s hard. I don’t think I’ve ever done it before. Oh, I’ve needed to – several times – but I’ve never done it. Yesterday I realized why: it’s messy. It’s really, really messy.

I thought it’d be more like the movies. I’d say, “I’m sorry for treating you like crap, even though you may not have noticed it. Please forgive me.” Then he’d give me a sad little smile and say, “Aw, of course I forgive you.” Then we’d hug and part ways. Friends again!

Yeah, no. That doesn’t really happen. He kept asking questions. It was more like this:

Me: I’m sorry for treating you like crap, even though you may not have noticed it.

Him: How have you treated me like crap?

Me: Uh, I’ve written … things.

Him: What things?

Me: I dunno. Essays. I got my Prose class to hate you.

Him: Well, how? What’d your essay say?

Stop, stop, stop! Lots of awkward silences followed. He did, finally, forgive me. And we’re friends again. But it wasn’t as picture-perfect as I had hoped. And I didn’t feel like sunshine and rainbows afterward either.

On the phone:

Jacque: How’d it go?

Me: Alright. I don’t feel any better.

Jacque: Oh yeah?

Me: I was afraid this would happen.

Jacque: Are you glad you did it, though?

Me: Yeah …

I am. It restored a relationship. But it sucked. And even now, twenty-four hours later, I still replay my silly responses in my head. But I think that’s okay. I don’t feel the urge to call him a dirty bastard! under my breath anymore. (Which is good because he’s not a dirty bastard at all. Not even a little bit.)

Walking to my car before the aforementioned apology, I recited in my head my goals for the evening. I wasn’t going to write a script, but I did have expectations for the night:

1. Apologize (i.e. not chicken out)
2. Reconcile our relationship

I recited that in my head as so: a-pah-lo-gize-n-re-con-cile (imagine it sing-songy). Then it turned into: a-pah-lo-gize-n-re-con-cile-ev-ery-one-of-you. Then it turned into Acts 2:38: “Repent and be baptized ev-ery-one-of-you, in the name of Jesus Christ, for the forgiveness of your sins.”

Then I started thinking: What was it that I wanted to accomplish this evening? Wasn’t it the same goal as Peter’s? To repent (to ask this boy for forgiveness)? To be baptized (to give our friendship a rebirth)?

I think … I think it’s the same thing.

Maybe I wasn’t sitting across from this boy. Maybe I was sitting across from Jesus.

Me: Jesus, I’m sorry for being so judgmental.

Jesus: How have you been judgmental?

Me: Uh, I’ve just thought things about people without knowing them.

Jesus: Like how? [stares at me with his pretty green eyes]

Me: [looks down at her arms, her tea, looks over to the other table, up at the ceiling]

Jesus: Well?

Me: Um. I’ve … called people names in my head … I’ve … 

Jesus: What names?

Me: Um. Dirty bastards.

Jesus: Hmm.

Me: I’m sorry!

Jesus: [pause] So what now?

Me: I don’t know.

Jesus: Laur-en.

Me: I want to be your friend again. I want you to be my Liberator.

Jesus: Okay then. We will be; I will be.

Me: I’ll make it up to you …

Jesus: It’s okay, girl. We’re cool.

Me: … Good.

Jesus: [sad smile]

Me: [sad smile]

ezek.

March 9, 2010  Leave a comment

The Little Red Hen, retold

Once upon a time there was a Little Red Hen that was a communication major at a small private university in central Indiana.

The Little Red Hen lived among other farm animals and worked with them too. One day the farmer assigned the Little Red Hen and several other animals the task of baking bread. She went to work.

“Who will help me plant the wheat?” asked the Little Red Hen.

“Not I,” said the pig. “I have too much homework.”

“Not I,” said the cat. “I forget how.”

“Not I,” said the dog. “I’m not very good at that.”

“Then I will plant the wheat myself,” said the Little Red Hen, and she did! She dug up the earth with her claws, planted seeds and buried them in dirt. The wheat started to grow.

“Who will help me water the wheat?” asked the Little Red Hen.

“Not I,” said the pig. “I have something else due that day.”

“Not I,” said the cat. “My schedule’s really tight.”

The dog never checked his email.

“Then I will water the wheat myself,” said the Little Red Hen, and she did! She carried the bucket between her beak all the way from the well up the hill to her garden. She poured the water on her own. The wheat began to grow, and it was time to harvest it.

“Who will help me harvest the wheat?” asked the Little Red Hen.

“Not I,” said the pig. “Uh, sorry.”

“Not I,” said the cat. “Wish I could.”

“Not I,” said the dog. “Whoops.”

“Then I will harvest the wheat myself,” said the Little Red Hen, and she did! She carried her machete from the barn all the way up to the garden. She used her beak to thrash the machete against the wheat. She carried it to her kitchen. There the Little Red Hen threshed the wheat all on her own, not asking for help, knowing she wouldn’t get any.

“Who will help me bake the bread?” asked the Little Red Hen, one more time.

“Not I,” said the pig.

“Not I,” said the cat.

“Not I,” said the dog.

“Then I’ll bake the bread myself,” said the Little Red Hen, and she did! She scooped out flour; scooped out yeast; poured water; poured milk; stirred it all together. She popped it in the oven with her feathered hands and watched it bake. Mmm! And it smelled delicious!

The pig, the cat and the dog came in to admire the Little Red Hen’s work. Their mouths gaped open in awe.

“Who will help me eat the bread?” asked the Little Red Hen.

“I will!” said the pig.

“I will!” said the cat.

“I will!” said the dog.

The Little Red Hen put her wings to her hips and replied: “You did not help me plant the wheat. You did not help me water the wheat. You did not help me thresh it or bake it into bread either. And now, I will eat the bread myself!” And she would have …

… Except, just then, the farmer came in, admired the bread, patted the pig, cat, dog and the Little Red Hen on the back and gave them each an equal slice.

“Good job,” said the farmer. “A’s for everyone!”

The End.

THE MORAL OF THE STORY: I hate group projects.

March 7, 2010  Leave a comment

It is fine, it is fine with my soul.

Most of you are well aware of my cynicism. I haven’t done a very good job of hiding it, after all. I’ve been trying to get to the root of it, to know exactly why it is I feel so jaded, but I’m not sure I can narrow it down to one or two things. But I’ll try. Maybe then I’ll be healed of it.

Friday in our typical day-before-break praise and worship chapel, we sang the hymn “It is Well with My Soul.” For some reason, singing it reminded me of when I was in middle school and I’d pray before getting a test grade back.

I’d say: Pleaseohpleaseohplease say I got a good grade, God.
The Spirit would reply: You did fine.

Every time he’d say that: “you did fine.” I knew even then that “fine” was a relative term. When I’d pray that in a history class, “fine” meant an A or A+. When I’d pray that in geometry, “fine” meant passing.

God’s telling me today that I’m fine. I’ll be okay. Whatever I’m going through will pass, and I’ll be stronger because of it.

But as an apology to all the people affected by my cynicism, I present this blog. Here’s why I’ve been so melancholy, or at least a few guesses:

1. How hard I work in class or how naturally gifted I am – manifested by my GPA – determines my worth.


I wrote a creative piece the other day about Sixteen-Year-Old Lauren haunting Present Day Lauren. It made me miss my youthful optimism. Observe:

I really don’t have time for this, Laur.
Come on. Here. I’ll help you pack up your books. Where you going anyway?
World lit.
Oh man. I’m in American lit right now. What a killer.
You’ll get an A. Well, A-.
Same thing.
Ha, I like your optimism.

Remember when “A-” was as good as an “A”? Now I’m well aware of the raging gap between a 3.7 and a 4.0.

Prof. Perry and I had a conversation about this a week and a half ago. I told him how desperately I wanted an A in his class, and how he should consider making the class easier in order for me to achieve that. (Despite our good relationship – I have been called a brown noser, teacher’s pet and suck up more than once, thank you – he did not relent.) Actually, I think that upset him – that I wanted an easy A.

The thing is, that’s not even true. I don’t want an easy A. I want to learn. That’s what I want more than anything … to know as much as I can about the things I care about. I want to know more about media and society; I want to know more about writing prose; I want to know more about the character of God.

I just want my grades to reflect that.

And you know what? My grades would reflect that if I tried harder, if I pushed myself further. But physically, I can’t handle that. I can’t stay up all night writing an essay just to get it to the right word count (sorry, Dr. Allison, you say 1500 words, I say 1000).

So right. Correct. I would rather get an A without the unnecessary hard work, if I was still learning. True. I believe that. I want to be pushed harder, but when I push myself harder …

I get obsessed.

Vicious cycle. It doesn’t even make much sense.

Except that I want to be good at everything. I want to have A’s in all my classes. I want to make Mom proud and Dr. Ferguson (my advisor) proud and Prof. Perry proud and all the other lazy comm. students jealous.

It’s just not all possible. I can’t be good at everything, which is a hard truth for me to get. Thus, it’s making me cynical.

2. Despite what I tell myself, I let boys define who I am, or the act of liking boys define who I am.


I was listening to this song on the way home from Jacque and Carlee’s:

Say you’re wrong
Let’s get this over I
Would like to get some sleep tonight …

Now I know that I was not the man you wanted
You know I loved you and I wanted to make you proud
My intentions were to never give myself to anyone
Look what I’ve done

Mmm. I love those last two lines: “My intentions were to never give myself to anyone, look what I’ve done.” I’m going to try to remain vague and general here, but I don’t know how successful I’m going to be. Pretty much I let myself get burned because of a crush. I haven’t been burned like this in a while, and though I’ve done a pretty good job at blaming him for this, it’s my fault.

It’s my fault, friend.

Though I don’t regret liking him – and despite my general attitude of hatred toward him, I still think he’s a really cool guy – I handled it horribly. I expected too much out of someone who didn’t return the affection.

I go back to my quote of the month: “When people are in love, they act stupid. When people get their hearts broken, they act even stupider.”

As Lindsey would say, “That’s not very profound, but it’s true.”

I want to make it up to this kid. I’m trying to think of the best way to do it, but I think it involves leaving him alone forever. And deleting his number from my phone. Maybe.

All I know is hating him and writing essays for Prose about how much I hate him isn’t solving anything. I’m brooding; I’m just getting angrier. It’s been seven weeks – seriously. Heart, move on. Start focusing on things that matter!

3. We Christians are good at talking, but we’re not very good at doing.

I have Matthew Paul Turner’s “Jesus Needs New PR” blog bookmarked on my Google browser – I frequent it often. (Probably because he updates it like a madman. Imagine if I updated this blog three times a day!)

MPT blogs about the Christian subculture mostly, and likes to pick fun at it. He grew up a fundamental baptist, so he has room to make fun of fundies, but sometimes it gets a little ridiculous. He has a “Jesus Picture of the Week,” for example, with paintings of our LORD with his own snarky, semi-sacrilegious captions below. Or, he’ll rant about Joel Osteen (using $ for all his s‘s). Or, he’ll post videos of dorky Christian musical groups.

It’s cool to have a sense of humor. I told you that I frequent this site often – it makes me laugh. But it gets draining after a while. In fact, it makes me wonder if MPT isn’t turning into his own kind of fundamentalist. …

I like what Brian McLaren said (via a character) in A New Kind of Christian: “I’ve found that liberals can be fundamentalists too. Liberals are often just fundamentalists with a different set of beliefs. Not all of them, but many.” p. 9

Huh. Sounds like me most of the time.

(And please, Matthew, if you’re reading this – thanks, Google Alerts! – know that this isn’t about you. You’re just a for-instance so my audience gets it. I will still read your blog. Keep up the JPotW!)

But I am just like MPT. I roll my eyes at people who believe in the literalness of the Bible or who quote scripture in their sleep. I’ve taken a liking to MPT’s jingle: “You can’t spell ‘fundamentalist’ without F-U.”

It’s kind of disconcerting though. Making fun of something gets old after a while. I wish instead of talking about what’s wrong with the Church we could be busy being the Church.

I wish I would. I wish I’d stop focusing on myself or rolling my eyes at others.

Finishing this blog doesn’t make me feel better – surprise, surprise. Reading this blog probably didn’t inspire you all in any way either.

But I guess that’s okay. Here’s where I’m at spiritually. It’s messy, but oh well. I’d rather be honest and transparent than pretend I have it all together.

“Be true! Be true! Be true! Show freely to the world, if not your worst, yet some trait whereby the worst may be inferred.” – The Scarlet Letter

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come
Let this blest assurance control
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate
And hath shed His own blood for my soul

It is fine, it is fine with my soul





ezekiel

March 1, 2010  Leave a comment

« older posts newer posts »