Welcome back to the blogosphere
It’s funny how sermons can really hit home. You know, it happens when you’re just sitting there as a humble member of the laity, listening to Pastor Whomever preach about something that fits your life perfectly.
That’s what it was like this morning when Tom preached about our need to blog.
So, it wasn’t exactly like that. He did encourage bloggers to do their thing and adults to join Facebook (curse you, Tom!). Anyway, it was all about our need to “reach our generation for Christ.” (As if I haven’t heard THAT phrase enough.)
So here’s the scoop: That’s What I Want to Do. Forever, really.If you haven’t asked me the question yet, or haven’t heard me speak profusely about it, I want to work for (ye old) RELEVANT Magazine when I grow up. And RELEVANT’s purpose is…?
“Relevant Media Group is a multimedia company whose purpose is to impact culture and show that a relationship with God is relevant and essential to a fulfilled life.” [taken from their website]
And so there. I have mastered it. Thanks for the sermon, Tom, but that’s one thing I don’t have to work at.
Dun Dun Dun… or is it?
I mean, honestly. Is it THAT hard to get God’s word out nowadays? I was thinking this in Sunday school as well. Ruthanne was talking about how sometimes people just believe whatever their pastors say without testing it against Scripture. For some reason people are just not reading the Bible. (Who knew?)
So, what, is it that hard to read the Bible? (I’m asking myself that as well. Someone’s been slacking with her attempt to read the entire Bible in order. Ugh, I have yet to finish Deuteronomy.)
We got about fifteen different translations out there, there’s bound to be one you appreciate: NIV, tNIV, The Message, NASB, KJV, NKJV, NCV, NIrV.
And what about iPod Bibles? If you’re too just too tired to pull out God’s Word, you can listen to it (while playing the microscopic Solitaire) on your iPod.
Or, how about THE EXPERIENCE: the new-fangled audio Bible with famous people doing the voices of characters. I hear Nick Cannon plays an EXCELLENT Adam.
Bookstores have aisles full of “Christian Living” books and whatnot. There’s always a book out there on Christianity (lots on the NYT Best Seller List too!).
A lot of times Christian artists “cross-over” to play their music to secular audiences. Relient K, for instance. Or think Emery and Anberlin… their on Christian labels, but their huge on the secular market as well.
How often is Jesus “in the news”? Very often.
So what? Are we doing the job of Isaiah, being messangers of God’s word to His people? Isn’t that why we have iPod Bibles and church podcasts and Christian radio stations and tee shirts with the icthus fishy on it?
Or are we just trying to make Jesus relevant to our culture by putting his name on a bunch of electronic do-dads? Is the Good News being preached or is it being disguised by what’s hip and cool.
People in the ministry (okay, maybe just youth ministry. No offense Tom) always thinking of ways to “ENGAGE OUR CULTURE.” We try so hard to come up with the right events to get kids into the church (i.e. “Godstock,” our own version of woodstock minus the drugs and sex). If we bribe them with a concert, maybe they’ll stick around long enough to hear the YP’s message at the end. Maybe.
And so I’ll challenge myself a bit: how is RELEVANT any different?
Is there a way around this? Can we spread the word of God like Isaiah without using pop-culture and new technologies?
What about the way we live? Can our separation from culture woo people to God?
More thoughts later.
Lauren Deidra {Isaiah 2:1-5}
“I often wonder if God recognizes His own son the way we’ve dressed him up, or is it dressed him down? He’s a regular peppermint stick now, all sugar-crystal and saccharine when he isn’t making veiled references to certain commercial products that every worshiper absolutely needs.” Fahrenheit 451, 81
June 15, 2008 2 Comments
come out!
Thanks, everyone, for your responses. Austin, I love your answer (after begging you week after week at Starbucks-ironically enough-I’m glad that you want to save your money, woot!). As for Tom and Paul, I will answer your comments throughout this blog.
So without further ado:
Part 2.5: Jesus wouldn’t drink Starbucks.
Who are we worshiping? (Tom, I believe that was your question.) Are we worshiping God or Money? Clearly in Matt. 6 it says it’s up to you to choose which one you’re going to call Master. So which is it?
We won’t answer that quite yet.
* * *
God called us to be set apart; I will say it again and again. We are to be a “holy people,” we are God’s Bride. We are not supposed to follow the pattern of this world.
“Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.” [Romans 12:2, The Message//Remix]
* * *
In Revelation, John the Revelator describes a mighty empire called Babylon as being like a seductive whore:
“Fallen! Fallen is Babylon the Great! She has become a home for demons and a haunt for every evil spirit, a haunt for every unclean and detestable bird. For all the nations have drunk the maddening wine of her adulteries. The kings of the earth committed adultery with her, and the merchants of the earth grew rich from her excessive luxuries.” [Rev. 18:2-3]
Her whoring days didn’t last long. By verse 9 of Revelation, after the “kings of the earth” committed adultery with Babylon, she ran outta her “goods.” Verse 11 and 15 say, “The merchants of the earth will weep and mourn over her because no one buys their cargoes anymore…. They will say, ‘The fruit you long for is gone from you. All your luxury and splendor have vanished, never to be recovered.’ The merchants who sold these things and gained their wealth from her will stand far off, terrified at her torment. They will weep and mourn…”
Notice Babylon’s connection with money. Who’s suffering from “Babylon’s fall?” Are the poor peasants suffering? How about Christians? It doesn’t say much about them. The passage does make it clear that the MERCHANTS will suffer and weep and mourn. [And the children of the Slaughtered Lamb will rejoice.]
Notice more from that Revelation passage: “John says that [the Whore of Babylon] is drunk with the blood of the saints. Her wineglass is filled with the blood she has shed throughout the earth-of “saints, prophets, and all who have been killed on the earth”-hers is the cup of empire, slaughter, genocide, and sweatshops. Everyone has grown drunk from the blood, and they stand back and marvel, ‘Who is like Babylon?’ Babylon the beautiful. But there are those who do not drink from her cup, who do not grow drunk on the cocktails of culture. Their cup is filled with the blood of the Lamb. It is the cup of the new covenant. The question becomes, From which cup will we toast?” [Claiborne, Shane. Jesus for President, 2008; p.150]
So John the Revelator paints this awful picture of a sex-and-money-hungry Whore of Babylon who entices people to do what? SPEND THEIR MONEY. Not on the poor, of course, but themselves. Sounds familiar if you ask me (hint: “We must keep shopping.” George W., post-9/11)
Am I jumping ahead too much?
Consider what Ezek. 16:49 says of good ole Sodom: “She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy.”
Huh.
So what are we supposed to do? I believe that was the great debate. Tithe more? Or, as Tom said, just not hang on to money so tightly? The answer:
“Come out of her, my people,
So that you will not share in her sins
So that you will not receive any of her plagues;” [Rev. 18:4]
“John’s language couldn’t be clearer: we are to ‘come out’ of her, literally to pull ourselves out…. Scholars point out that this is erotic language and that the words John uses are the same ones use for coitus interruptus-to interrupt sexual intercourse before its climax. As John is speaking of this steamy love affair with the empire, he calls the church to ‘pull out of her’-to leave the romance with the world and be wooed by God, to remember our first love [v2:4], to say no to all other lovers. Certainly he made his readers blush. And it’s not easy to pull out of a relationship of dependency and romance, of lavish gifts and captivating beauty, especially with a bride as beautiful as Rome or America.” [Claiborne, Shane. Jesus for President, 2008; p.150; emphasis added]
Boom-chicka-wow-wow.
Like I said before, in this blog and others, we are supposed to be set apart. We are DIFFERENT. I am a Christian, a “little Christ,” a member of the Jesus Liberation Movement, I pledge allegiance to the true Son of God: Jesus Christ.
I am not of this world.
And since we are not of this world-or as Paul says, our “citizenship is in heaven”-we are supposed to not CONFORM to our culture but, (quote it, brothe’!) be TRANSFORMED by the renewing of our minds… etc, etc.
I do not have a solution to this financial issue. Personally, through reading this book (Jesus for President) I feel convicted to STOP buying things and live like Penny* for a year.
*In Donald Miller’s Blue Like Jazz, his friend Penny decided to not buy clothing for one whole year.
But, can I do it? Is that what God wants me/needs me to do?
I don’t know.
Nor is that the point. I’m here as a messenger. Here’s what I’ve heard, this is what I believe is a problem.
Lauren
April 17, 2008 1 Comment
MORE community stuff. [this stuff keeps coming!]
Okay, so last blog I talked about more of the socio-structure of the Christian Community. But, as Paul pointed out, I forgot to mention the impetus behind the Community in Acts 2: LOVE. Because, in the words of Dustin Kensrue… (who took them from the Apostle Paul). And moving mountains ain’t no thing to me; I’ve faith enough to cast them to the sea, but I don’t know the first thing about Love. But all other things shall fade away; while Love stands alone and still holds sway.
BUT, I’m not going to discuss the Love factor in Community yet. WHAT?! No, really, I’m not. I cannot yet. I’m writing based on what I’m learning via God and the books I’m reading and the experiences I’m enduring. I haven’t met that lesson yet. It’s coming though.
Today I’m going to talk about the fiscal obligations of a community.
Part 2: Christianity is not capitalistic.
SIDENOTE: In yesterday’s blog I used to Acts 2 passage about people giving to each other as they had need (Acts 2:44). Today I’m going to use that same passage.
I have a pretty legitimate fear. When I grow up, I am afraid that I am going to be a workaholic- capitalistic-guru. I am afraid I’m going to be like the antagonist in the song “Man in the 3k Suit” by Jonezetta, or “The Ghost of Corporate Future” by Regina Spektor, or “American Dream” by Casting Crowns…etc. I think that I am going to have a lot of money and invest it to get even more money. I will be one happy rich girl.
Now, I only say that because I know how I am with money. Frankly, I am kind of good with it. Not perfect by any means (hence my fear) but I am decent for a newly employed eighteen-year-old. I save 15%, tithe/donate 10%, and though sometimes I spend the majority of my paycheck on one fun trip to the mall, I always have a good pot of money brewing in my checking account. I like my system; my mom has taught me well.
BUT. Okay, what if I continue to do that the rest of my life, maybe invest in some mutual bonds or some stock, get a well paying job as an editor, and live a happy life as a consumer.
THROUGH THE EYES OF MY ECON TEACHER: Mr. Adams would say I did a great thing. Rich people get rich not from spending all their money, but being smart with it. If I am smart with it, I will be well-off financially.
But, I don’t think that I am supposed to live like that. Yes, I know we need rich people in the world, um, to invest in important causes (cancer research, eco-friendly products, etc.) but I don’t know if that is always true. At least not for Christians.
We were called to be set apart as people of God-the Church. The early church was not all about spending all their money on new iPods or investing in the Walmart stock. They gave their money. Think of Ananias and Sapphira. And where in the Gospels is Jesus seen as having money? Never. (But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, “You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? Show me the coin used for paying the tax.” They brought him a denarius, and he asked them, “Whose portrait is this? And whose inscription?”) That was not his money; nor was it his money found in the fish that Peter caught.
Think the Old Testament now: Every seven years all debts were cancelled (if you were an Israelite, that is). Tah-dah! AND every seven years people were to let their fields die. Not to mention, in Malachi God tells his people to tithe 10 percent.
Don Miller describes his duty as a Christian Consumer as having to “let the fields die.” Though he is a best selling author and speaker, he doesn’t take any money for his books-none. The guy could be as rich as Joel Osteen if he did (bah-dah-tsh!), but he understands the importance of Not Getting Addicted to Money.
Where did I get ADDICTION from all of that?
How easy is it to NOT think about money when you have tons of it, spend tons of it, and invest tons of it? It’s hard.
And here’s my dilemma… Does God want me to have money when I grow up? I mean, more than just enough to survive.
I bet all of you, 100% of my audience, thinks that I should be smart with my money and make sure I have some when I grow up. You would have to think that, because it’s the way all of you live. You have a computer, right? If you have a computer that’s a pretty good indicator you have money-unless you’re at a library.
Anyway, I guess I only have half of an argument here so please, don’t comment this note and call me a crazy fool.
I only know what it’s like to have money. Sure, I only get $6.50 an hour, but I always have my mommy to provide me with what I need. Am I addicted to money? Maybe. I mean, I love buying clothes, I love buying new electronics. I have surrendered to the emperor, I guess. (So to speak.)
More on this later. Make this part one of part two.
Lauren
April 16, 2008 1 Comment
more community chatter.
I have been thinking about the idea of community for a while now, as you learned from my previous blog. I think the concept, pertaining to Christianity in particular, is fascinating. Yes, it really is.
In my last blog I also said that I was experiencing a “perfect” community but, as Sarah politely pointed out, my CLAM group (Austin, Matt and I) is not “perfect” because we are “imperfect” people-by man’s standards and God’s.
But I do want to look at the idea of a perfect community even though I don’t truly know what that is by experience (you win, Sarah), but because I believe that’s what God designed us for. But with sin, that community cannot exist.
PART ONE: Christianity is not a democracy.
The foundation of our youth group is centered on this one passage of scripture (ready, Tom?) “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” [Acts 2:42-47]
I love this passage because it solely proves my next point. Get ready for it folks:
Christian community is a lot like SOCIALISM. (Really, it’s a lot like COMMUNISM with Christ at its head, but let’s not push it.)
DEFINITION: Socialism refers to the goal of a socio-economic system in which property and the distribution of wealth are subject to control by the community.[1] This control may be either direct-exercised through popular collectives such as workers’ councils-or indirect-exercised on behalf of the people by the state. As an economic system, socialism is often characterized by state, worker, or community ownership of the means of production, goals which have been attributed to, and claimed by, a number of political parties and governments throughout history. [says Wikipedia.com]
Now I mostly said that for a reaction. Let me explain myself before you mutter Lauren is Stalin under your breath.
The basic principle of the Christian Community described in Acts looks like this: people work hard, and use what they have to give to others in their community. People “pool their resources” to make sure everyone had what they needed. They don’t earn status through their paychecks, but use everything they have to serve others. (Really, I just restated Acts 2:44)
Isn’t that the basis of a “good” socialistic society? Everyone works to provide for the needs of others. That’s what Eugene V. Debs wanted, right?
I don’t know enough about socialism to go into much detail, but you understand the point. The way the Bible describes the early church is a lot like the socialistic nations of yesteryear. BUT.
Those countries were screwed up, Laur. Especially when you start comparing the Christian Community to communism. God isn’t Stalin either.
Well, yes. That is because (let us reiterate Sarah’s point once more) WE ARE NOT PERFECT. Socialism doesn’t work for godless countries, so we cannot help but assume it won’t work for God-filled communities that are, at the root of it all, sinners.
Let me work backwards here again. We know politically that socialism doesn’t work because it gives the wrong people power AND citizens never do their share of work. BUT what if they did?
What if everyone in the country did their share of work and the leaders did not abuse their power? I think socialism would be a fine machine, don’t you? But we all know that doesn’t happen, not for countries.
But what about for Christianity? Can it work?
I mentioned in my last blog how I was fed up with the imperfect Christian Community, the one focused on trivial drama rather than the interests of others. But what about CLAM? What if the rest of the youth group, the church, the city, the state, nation, or the Church herself became dedicated to others’ needs instead of just their own?
We could make this “socialism” thing work. Rather, we could make this “Acts 2:42-47” thing work.
Sure there will be flaws. There can’t be a perfect community here on earth but we sure should try. God gave us the early church’s example for a reason.
I believe we shall follow it. :-)
April 14, 2008 1 Comment
community.
My guy friends have a peculiar habit. (Peculiar I say because I don’t believe a lot of guys even worry about stuff like this.)
They are girl-protectors. Now, let’s move past my tendencies to be a strong, woman-power kinda chica and focus on the BENEFITS of this theory. (My point: I don’t believe I need protecting most of the time. I have a thing called a gut and I know how to use it.)
BENEFITS: There are occasionally jerky guys that I need my guy friends to keep outta my life. i.e. John Derek.
STORY: Missions trip 2007, Lauren crushes on a nice looking lad named John Derek Raymond. Turns out he “liked her.” (He lived in Louisiana, did I mention that?) But he liked a lot of other girls. A lot. So Lauren’s guy friends kept him away from her.
That was nice; I appreciated it.
But, sometimes this peculiar habit has gone a little crazy. i.e. kid in youth group that “liked me.” Another friend kept this kid away from me. I don’t know why it was necessary, the kid wasn’t going to harm me in anyway. But, I didn’t like that guy so it didn’t hurt that my friend kept him away.
MORE CRAZY: Two of my guy friends tried to keep me from liking this one guy just because they didn’t know him. He was a great guy–a Christian–but the guys didn’t approve.
Which, like I said before, that’s all fine. I don’t feel I need protected, but I appreciate the guys’ manly efforts to keep jerks away from me.
BUT, here comes the irony: While my guy friends are warding off all these John-Derek-jerks, who’s protecting me from MY GUY FRIENDS?
Oh, no, you can’t like dude from that church because I don’t know him. Or, I’ll keep that dude away from you because he likes three other girls.
BUT I can swoop in, like another girl (let’s say), or treat you badly (perhaps), or even play games.
How come they get off the hook?
The underlying principle is this: this women-protecting my guy friends are doing can only work if done in the context of a inner-relying community. What I mean by that is that all members of the community must agree to certain ideals so that no one can be taken advantage of.
The goal of any community is to promote the interests of the other members of the group. Isn’t that true? Think of the ACTS 2 church: they shared everything, prayed for each other, loved one another (“they were in one heart”)–they were ONE ACCORD. They didn’t let their girls get involved with jerks but they didn’t become jerks themselves.
They understood that community meant that everyone was equal, everyone had a part, everyone was to be respected and loved.
I think I’m in a perfect community right now, and I confess it isn’t my church nor my youth group. It’s L.A.M. (AKA Clam or Lamb or Glam)
My friends Austin and Matt and I meet for coffee every week to talk about anything and everything. We are real with each other–that’s truly the basis of our friendship. We hardly ever agree on each others’ opinions, but we know that we are not going to get shot down if we’re totally out of line. We respect each other. We offer advice and take it to heart. We joke around; we don’t try to edit ourselves.
That’s a community.
It’s not a group of bickering people deciding who’s turn it is to date so-and-so nor is it a bunch of teens tearing each other apart for believing in predestination over free-will. It’s a group founded in love: true, unadulterated LOVE.
[dedicated to austin and matt. you guys make me happy.]
April 10, 2008 Leave a comment
nothing wrong with my changing world..
Last September God told me that this season of my life was going to be about change– I believe that was an understatement.
I experienced change in about every area of my life since then: a new car, a new job, new friends, new hobbies. And… some bad ones: lost friends, lost a crush, lost hope. All were meant to make me stronger, I believe. I was wrestling, like Jacob, with each instance desiring to be changed–for God to touch my hip so I may walk out of here different.
And I kind of thought that that season was over.
I’m not really sure why, I just thought that all the changing had been done. But was I any stronger? Was I any wiser? Clearly not, because Sunday God reminded me of a thing or two…
I’m not done changing. The world before me is not done changing. And whether it is cliche to say this or not, it has really just begun.
Sunday I sat and I heard God called me out–via my pastor Paul–on my biggest crime: pride. I am “Know it all.” I do believe I have it all together and everyone else is just a foolish sinner. I don’t need a mentor (and if I did, it would be someone famous. Like John Eldredge. Or, Don Miller). I talk down to people; I tell people when they don’t know what they’re talking about. I’m condescending.
More change: I sat with a girl I consider a Samaritan (and enjoyed it). I bit my tongue during youth group. My heart got broken. I clung to new friendships.
And dear Lord, in eight weeks there will be even more change. And two months after that, even more. I won’t have my mommy to make sure I’m up in the morning or have her buy me my favorite granola bars (unless she wants to fedEx some!).
Change is never going to quit either. Whether God moves me into another season of life, I will never stop changing, I’ll never stop growing–hopefully toward Him, hopefully into a stronger girl of God.
As Matty said in his Devoted article (that never got published, sorry) EMBRACE change. Love it. What’s going on right now may seem like it will breed only more suffering, but hold fast. This moment is just a rung on a really, really long ladder, stay strong and stay close to God and you’ll move up the ladder.
[Find your faith and dive deep, through living gateways pass
Lined with death and ivory, and hold fast, hold fast]
April 7, 2008 1 Comment
right here, yeah-yeah.
I wonder what Jesus would say to me if he was with me right now in my room, watching me drink my lukewarm Starbucks. I mean, yeah, he’s here. He’s listening to me and watching me (I can even hear him if I shoot a thought heavenward) but I mean physically. What if Jesus were sitting on my bed watching me type this? (I bet he’d correct my grammar for one.)
If Jesus were here I think he’d make some observations, silently to himself, or maybe he’d whisper them or write them in the dirt (if I had dirt in my room).
First, he’d say quietly or in his head, she is very distracted. She’s typing, but she’s thinking about a million other things. He’d know this not just by observing me, but reading my thoughts—Jesus can do that too, you know.
She’s thinking about me being here with her but she’s also thinking about the taste of that Starbucks. It’s getting gritty and not very tasty. She wants to keep drinking it but she isn’t satisfied. And her iPod—he’d notice my iPod—it’s on pause but she’s dying to press play again. She wants to listen to the rest of this song.
Jesus would question my distractions, whether they are legit or not. Can she really be devoted to writing—or to me—if she’s distracted all the time? He’d probably wonder why I expect other people to stay focused all the time when I cannot do it myself. And why I condemn other people’s idols when I have built some of my own, bowing down to them five times a day, dressing them in gold claiming they’re worth something. They’re not worth anything, these idols of mine—these gods being everything consuming my mind: my music, my laptop, Starbucks, my cell phone, even my writing. All idols. I mean, they can be.
The second thing Jesus would notice about me is my clothing. I think he likes the shirt I’m wearing, it has a nice purple floral print. The neckline could be a little scandalous if I chose to bend down slowly in front of a man, but I won’t. There aren’t even men around. And I bet Jesus would notice my jeans—American Eagle brand—and maybe consider my bra and how much money I spent on it (twice the price of my shirt). He’d probably then ask me why I spent so much money on clothes, and why they mean so much to me.
I’d hesitate, probably, not sure what to say and curious as to why that was the first thing Jesus asked me all night. After shifting my glace a few times (Jesus’ powerful eyes would make me rather nervous) I’d answer him. In a pseudo-confident voice I’d say, “Well, Jesus, I spend a lot of money on clothes because they give me confidence.” And I might add, for a logical edge, “Most girls want to look pretty, Jesus, it makes them feel important. I’m just like everyone else.”
He’d nod. If you notice from scripture Jesus wasn’t always quick to rebuttal someone’s ignorance. And when he did respond it was usually short or in the form of a rhetorical question. If Jesus had this conversation with me in my bedroom right now, I would expect him to say something profound.
“Why do you want to find your worth in other people?” Jesus would ask.
“But I don’t, Jesus,” I’d argue. “I just want to feel important. That’s different, you see. I know I matter to you, I just want other’s to realize it too.”
“Is that so?”
Is that so? Why do I wear these clothes? Why do I want that new Kelly green jacket from Delia’s? It’s all about my image: I must look good in order to feel good in order to believe I matter—to other people.
I would not respond because I would not know how.
Next, Jesus would observe my closed door. It’s a nice door—oak, with a shiny brass handle—but it’s shut and not much goes in or out. Granted, my music—if played too loudly (which it always is)—seeps through. But nothing tangible leaves or enters my room for hours.
Jesus would question me as to why that is, or, as mentioned before, he may just think about it or maybe stand up and observe the threshold itself.
How much time do I spend in my room?
6:45-7:10 a.m.: In my room.
7:10-7:17 a.m.: Getting coffee and my books for school.
7:17-7:34 a.m.: Picking up brother and driving to school.
7:34-7:50 a.m.: At my locker.
7:50-1:03 p.m.: In class.
1:03-1:07 p.m.: At my locker.
1:07-1:25 p.m.: Driving home from school.
1:25-2:30 p.m.: Watching TV in the living room.
2:30-4:00 p.m.: In my room.
4:00-5:00 p.m.: Watching TV in the living room.
5:00-5:45 p.m.: Making dinner and eating it.
5:45-6:45 a.m.: In bedroom.
It was fine at first: I am in my room for a little bit before school and a little after school (between TV shows). Then all of the sudden it’s 5:45 at night and that’s the last you’ll see of me. I have a laptop with internet access, an iPod stereo, a sink/vanity, and a bag full of Easter candy at my disposal, not to mention the door to the bathroom connected to my bedroom. I don’t need to leave. If I want to get a drink, sure, I’ll have to leave. But I go right back up into my room and shut the door.
I bet my mom misses me.
I bet Jesus wishes I left the door open every once in a while. He knows that I need to be available to people just like he was. The Bible records instances when Jesus goes off to the mountainside alone but he is with people the rest of the time. And the only time he is alone it is to pray—not to check his Facebook or to listen to Kings of Leon.
Man is not supposed to spend all this time alone—I am not an island….
Jesus would sit there watching me think all these thoughts, probably drinking his own Starbucks (not lukewarm, of course. Revelations tells us he’s not a fan of lukewarm things). I don’t think he would scorn me much, though he disagrees with what I’m doing with my time. He knows that I’ll learn it time, that it is through spending time with him I’ll know more about how I should live.
March 28, 2008 1 Comment
Stand and Feel Your Worth
Wake, stand and feel your worth, O my soul.
Feel and know the word that can save us all.
At Sunday school and at youth group we’ve been talking about self-image: how we view ourselves in relation to how we view God. The correlation is this: if you are told you are a slut long enough you believe it about yourself and therefore believe that God thinks you’re a slut also. Or a loser. Or a failure. Or whatever putdowns you have been bombarded with.
I guess you just figure that if the world thinks you’re one way, it must be true, and God views you the same way.
And me? I feel like I’m a pretty self-confident girl. I’ve have good grades, a fun job, shiny red hair, and an amazing internship… but only half of me relishes in that. (And that side also has a tendancy to relish in all that a bit TOO much.)
The other half of me is convinced that I am inadequate. I am unworthy of everything and everyone I pursue. It’s like this: I may be smart, but a voice is reminding me that I’m not smart enough. I may be pretty, but Ashley and Sam are prettier. I’m only second-rank. I can never be the best.
And maybe, maybe I cannot be the best. But it’s killer to hear that I will never be good enough.
I constantly feel this way. I feel like I’m unworthy of dating a man-after-God’s-own-heart kind of guy or befriend a certain person because they’re too intelligent or cool. I’m unworthy. I’m not good enough and never will be.
I fight this; whenever I feel uncomfortable with not being up to par with the people around me I start to fight my insecurities with pride. Well, they may be more outgoing, but I’ve got more drive. Or, she may have a better voice, but I can write better.
I thought this way all my life: through middle school, through my underclassmen days. I just don’t feel that I’m worthy of anything. That I don’t matter. That I can never be good enough.
( Maybe this is why I have so much drive; I want to prove myself worthy. )
Nevertheless, through Tom’s message Sunday night and morning I got to expose this stuff. I feel freer, not completely but I know in time I’ll overcome. It’s hard to let go of stuff you’re used to. You know, “old habits die hard.”
I do know this–I matter. I’m worthy. God made all men equal, meaning I am worthy to be the friend of anyone in the world. No one is greater than me. (But I am not called to put myself above anyone else either.)
George MacDonald put it this way–I love this!–“Here there is no room for ambition. Ambition is the desire to be above one’s neighbor; and here there is no possibility of comparison with one’s neighbor: no one knows what the white stone contains except the man who receives it…. Relative worth is not only unknown–to the children of the Kingdom it is unknowable” (emphasis mine).
I assume I’ll have more on this later, but right now I think I’ll just bask in the fact that I matter to God. :-)
March 3, 2008 Leave a comment
Gifts n’ all that.
Yesterday I learned that my spiritual gift is writing.
I had to take one of those spiritual gifts inventories for Jacque and Ricky’s Bible study (I mean, they put a gun to my head and everything) and the one I took, all 140 questions, told me I have a gift for writing.
Well, I that like writing and that I think I’m good at it: that’s all that means. Which to me is just fine.
One might question the difference between a spiritual gift and a regular secular gift. I think I’d like writing if I weren’t a Christian, so does that make this concept of Spiritual gifts a fraud?
I mean, I’d probably even have a broader range of things to talk about as a secular writer because I have a tendancy to talk just about God in blogs and essays and such.
I do like what I learned about spiritual gifts though, that’s kind of my point. (I’m a little woozy from the McDonald’s I ate so I’m not writing as fluently as I should. I should not have eaten those burgers. Ugh, the memories of reading Fast Food Nation pour in.)
What I learned is more or less two-fold. Or three-fold… I just wanted to say “two-fold” really bad. What time is it?
1. Spiritual Gifts are different than regular run-of-the-mill heathen gifts because they are obtained AND/OR utilized after a person receives the Holy Spirit (upon conversion). For example, you cannot heal the sick, raise the dead, speak in tongues, or prophesy until you have Christ in your life.
But, you may ask, what about those other gifts like serving, teaching, and writing? Don’t nonChristians have those gifts too?
Yes.
2. Spiritual Gifts are not in “full bloom” until a person receives the Holy Spirit BUT that does not mean the gift is not still there, but the impetus is not. Example: A person has the gift of helps and likes to give money to those in need but they aren’t a spirit-filled vessel (ah, fancy church wordage!) that does NOT mean they aren’t committed to helping people. This just means that the core of their reasoning for doing such an act is not clear. They do it to be nice. A Christian would do it to be nice BECAUSE Christ has called us to do so.
3. Spiritual Gifts Change. Today my gift may be writing and pastoring, but tomorrow it may be celibacy. Just kidding. But really, times change and so do we. At one point in my life it may be good that I am all about serving and doing behind-the-scenes work, but maybe when I’m older (and wiser) God will call me to speak to large crowds–who knows. We weren’t all born (or re-born… heh heh) with the same gift we have later in life. I guess we could, but usually not. Our gifts change with our seasons.
* * *
I’m just contemplating today. I don’t have a conclusion (it’s like AP English all over again. No, Mrs. Pickett I don’t have a strong conclusion DEAL with IT!)
Just… learn your gifts and use them. There, I gave this blog some warrant.
February 28, 2008 Leave a comment
Not a Feel-Good Faith
This Sunday I got the prestigious opportunity to do PowerPoint for the morning service at church. Now, when I say prestigious, I mean it because there is great responsibility behind that job: if I clicked too fast or too slow the entire church would notice. I was scared. But, I did okay despite Tom forgetting a verse to a song… and whatever happened to the Communion slide?
Oh well.
That’s not really my point at all. My point is that I was doing PowerPoint during my pastor Paul’s sermon which, in my opinion, was one of his best. Even though it was about hell.
I think I liked it because it tied in nicely to our discussion on Letter to a Christian Nation in English class. We were discussing the purpose of religion: is it just a mode of comfort? Is Christianity just about making it to heaven?
I began to think about this and considered that maybe this is how religions started. Maybe cavemen 20,000 years ago wanted to believe that there was Someone who inspired their wheel invention or caused the lightening in the sky. Maybe ancient Egyptians didn’t want to have to explain every wondrous sign and gave credit to other beings–gods.
But honestly, if I think about my faith and its basic principles… it isn’t very comforting at all. I mean, Christianity was birthed from the Jewish faith based on strict laws and statutes. To go back before Christ I would be obligated to sacrifice animals for every sin I committed (intentional or not), to only eat certain animals, to marry young and bare lots of children, and if I were a man… get circumcised.
No, I don’t think my faith is based around comfort.
Of course, one could argue Grace. Maybe Grace is what makes Christianity a feel-good religion. But again, does it? Does God say we can do whatever we want with no eternal or earthly consequences? Of course not.
My religion–my faith–is not built upon comfort and fluffy God-moments. But yet, let’s look at the other side of the coin (so to speak).
Christianity does offer hope. It offers freedom from sin and restoration both on earth and eternally in heaven. This is my impetus for trusting Christ with my life, sure, but that’s not all of Christianity. I have hope, I have transcendent peace, but I still have my earthly sin-sickness.
In other words, I still have to deal with heartache here on earth.
So then, is Christianity a feel-good faith because it offers eternal happiness in heaven? I don’t think it’s that either. How many people sit around planning for the future–I mean REALLY planning for the future–and take no time worrying about themselves right here and now? Not many. It’s hard saving up money for a future that is five years away, let alone for ten or twenty years down the road. Just knowing that when I die (in a good 60 years at least… hopefully) I will go to an everlasting (and rather vague) Paradise is not satisfying. Is it satisfying for you? Is that what you wake up for every morning?
I suppose it sounds like I am cutting down my faith right now. I make it sound like a strict “do-this, do-that” kind of religion and it’s not… but it is at the same time. We have these rules because we have free-will… which seems rather contradicting, so I won’t get into it. [I’ll save that for another blog.]
I know my faith (my personal one). I know that without believing that God is a thought, breath, sigh, or blink away I’d be one depressed little girl. But I also know it goes deeper than that. I know God calls me to a righteous life–an unattainable life on my own, but with His help it’s achievable. I truly believe that.
And so, I am eager to conclude this blog with the same two points my pastor did last Sunday….
1. How I live (right now) matters. Christianity is not just about planning for some distant judgment day, but it is about the present. What am I doing with my life now? Am I living for myself or for others?
2. There are consequences for my actions on earth. Meaning, although I am covered with Grace by giving Christ my life, I am still obligated to leave my sinful ways behind, so to speak, and be obedient to God’s rules.
And, if I dare, I would like to make one more point….
3. Go in peace. Yes, our actions do matter right now. We are told to be “blameless and pure children of God” and to establish God’s kingdom on earth (not just wait till we get to heaven) BUT we cannot sit and fret about it either. Seek first His kingdom. Do not worry. It’ll be okay.
This argument seems a little cyclical, so let me make a sweet summary for you all:
Christianity offers forgiveness for our iniquities but does not offer a freebie to sin. It’s not just about planning for some distant vacation to heaven, but focuses on the here and now. We can relish in the fact that we have hope in Christ but it shouldn’t blind us to the sin in our lives. We need to repent; we need to be free from sin.
February 18, 2008 Leave a comment